My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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