How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
