Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize