Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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