I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Randomize
