This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
