No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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