If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
