Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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