Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
