He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
