Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize