i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
