Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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