I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
