guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
cat food counts as protein by the way
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
