Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
