I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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