So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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