ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i love accidental penises.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my shit smells like andre
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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