I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
