I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
