Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
