He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think my tv is drunk
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
