We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
