I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
