Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
