I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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