Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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