she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
