she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
