You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
