my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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