we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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