Please, let me fuck your mom
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Buhtt sex?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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