About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
