Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize