im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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