some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
