you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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