I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize