I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
