Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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