Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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