you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
