So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
