We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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