Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
