You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
