so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's rum buckets o'clock
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
