its not stalking. its research.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
