I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
