i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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