It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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