At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
we're so committed to being not committed
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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